LIVING

THERE'S NOTHING MAGICAL ABOUT IT

-Today I was walking home and there was an old man on his porch. I swear he whispered "moonlight" as I walked past. Maybe it wasn't moonlight, but he definitely whispered, and his voice was INTENSE like scary.

-A man accidentally threw up on the sidewalk. I saw him and he saw me seeing him and said "HI."

-I live beside the railroad tracks and happened to see a hobo out there waiting for the train to come in. He was drinking an old bottle of listerine or electric soup and he was also wearing a jacket that said (in big shiny letters) SHINING TIME STATION on the back. I'm serious here.

To Justin, Dave, Sam, etc. - w4m (Bloor and Ossington)

Dimitri: Sorry for ignoring you for an entire month. You're a little creepy, though.

Ian: Sorry for every argument. I love ya.

Kevin: Sorry for making out with you that one time. It didn't seem to make things all that awkward, though.

Ben: Sorry for almost making you lose your job. You're too hot though, it's really hard to resist.

Justin: I'm sorry that I don't like you the way you like me. You are wonderful.

Dave: I'm sorry for stealing weed, cigarettes, and at least $100 from you. I'm also sorry for stealing $20 of that in front of your friends... you looked really dumb. Oh, I'm also sorry for stealing your sweater. I really like it though so I think I'll keep it. Besides, you haven't called me about it or anything.

Sam: I'm sorry for stealing that $40 from your wallet while you were sleeping. Sorry for not paying that waiter who I know was a friend of yours, but it was so damn easy just to walk out of that bar. So I guess I'm sorry for stealing that pint. Sorry for stealing that pack of cigarettes from your roommate, too. I imagine he wasn't too thrilled about that.

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